I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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