one might say we're banned from that church
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
