we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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