Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
