Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We're too hungover to prance.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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