i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
