so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
