i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
