apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
