i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
A+ Viking dick
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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