I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
