that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
