Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
