So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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