Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
