she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
