I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
