"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
where am i from again
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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