we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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