so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
