Only a mothe r could love this liver
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
