i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
