Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just tell him i said nine months
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
