Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
