Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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