I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
