I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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