WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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