We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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