never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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