but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
