when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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