if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
