How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
