Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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