ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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