those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think I won the penis lottery.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
