call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
