I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
