my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
