This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
