Fuck appropriateness.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
