Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you will always have a special place in my vag
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
