i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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