Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
