Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
