I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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