I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
