from now on my penis is your penis
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
