I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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