I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
